Woke up in Nanjing and somehow ended up in McDonalds. And then somehow ended up having just a bean pie for breakfast. Think of their apple pies and replace the sugary apple with sugary purple bean. It tastes good but doesn't really set you up for walking around mountains in scorching heat.
We took a cable car up the mountain. I was made to go on my own as I think the cable car guy was a bit frightened by my size. This fear of his was always going to be somewhat contagious. Up the mountain there were several things to look at, though unfortunately the view was very cloudy. There was "the number one buddha south of the Yangtze" which we defiled by sitting on its head for photos. What cultural artifact should we defile next. They also had a well, a cave with a buddha (I think), and a the life a man of doubtless significance carved into stone. It was fun walking round the mountain mainly.
It was totally sweltering, and we were drinking a bottle of water every 20 minutes or so. Going shirtless alleviated the discomfort to some extent, and did surprisingly little to stop the Chinese tourists wanting photos with us. A man by the lift was sitting in the large but barren restaurant, eating his lunch with occasionally firing arrows at the targets on the other side of the footpath that tourists walked down. Marisa swears that she was nearly taken out by him.
Lloyd and I then went alone to the Mausoleum of Sun Yat-Sen, seen by the Chinese as the father of their nation, according to Amelia. Marisa was put off by the hundred or so steps to get to the top, and it was a little effort to get to the top. This is a very impressive memorial in an unspoiled area and was very busy; clearly he means a lot to the Chinese. It didn't stop them hawking every type of shit by the entrance of course.
Back to the station for the return train to Shanghai, we got some bao zi and dumplings from the massively cheap food place. £4 including a couple of beers set us up well. Back in Shanghai we went to a restaurant with north-west Chinese food. This is "muslim" food and started badly with a massively greasy meat pie, though what followed was good. They have an ingredient which numbs the mouth which I tried to overdose on. I'd never had it before and will remember the sensation, but it's hard to describe, so bad luck then.
14 July 2010
12 July 2010
Tuesday 6th July - Nanjing
Up at 7am, we headed straight for the station. This was a particularly painful 7am for someone reason. We got there early so were able to insult Chinese culture by getting a McDonalds breakfast.
The train journey itself was exciting, as it went at up to 350 km/h, taking around an hour. It was clean and modern and made you cry slightly inside for the state of our country. Once in Nanjing, we got the tube, which had also had a novelty of little RFID token instead of paper tickets. Train geekery.
After checking into the hotel, we left for the museum about the most of famous event in Nanjing's history - its raping. The Rape of Nanjing refers to the murder of hundreds of thousands of Chinese - a popular estimate is 300,000. Having taken heavy losses capturing Shanghai in the late thirties, Japanese army commanders were told to head for Nanjing which was the Chinese capital at the time. The troops were apparently not altogether keen, so they were told that if they were good boys and attacked the city, then they could rape and loot to their hearts content.
The museum was even more depressing than you would expect - some achievement. The mistake was to try and drill the details of the massacre from so many different angles that it became tiresome. It was truly shocking but far too long. There were impressive statues and big gardens at the end, but by that point we wanted it to all be over.
When it was, we went to a famous temple in the city centre, which was actually a bit shite. There was however a massive bell that you could ring and made an excellent noise. Simple things for simple minds. Nearby we climbed the city walls, the biggest intact walls in the world and spectacular with it. Next to the walls we did some archery, the guy explaining how to do it essentially using mime. It was fun and all thirty of our fingers remain intact to this day.
After cleaning our repulsive, sweat-ridden bodies, we looked for somewhere to eat. We took a taxi to a place that sounded good but was in fact a 30 second taxi ride. We opted for a place offering German food where I had a fairly substandard Jager Schnitzel with spatzle made by someone who doesn't know how to cook spatzle. But it was six quid, and there was a humorously dodgy covers band were playing in the restaurant so overall it was a win, especially when it turned out that none of us got food poisoning.
We took a couple of hours sleep in preparation for the 2:30 kick off of Holland vs Uruguay. Heading back to the same area we walked past a girl being almost carried by two men and wondered what the night had in store for us. We went into the least suspicious club we could find and had a beer to wake up. Actually, Marisa had a coke. This place was not like any club you have seen before. There were security guards in helmets and a really happy and lively atmosphere. There was no hint of ego or trouble, it seems the reason that I tend to despise clubs might be because they are full to the brim with scum looking for trouble.
It was a great place to watch the football because the liveliness and friendliness, and the not-that-terrible music they were playing. There was lots to look at in every direction, be it the locals, the security, the Colonial feel to the place; I don't think I can capture it actually. Holland won too, which made it even better because Marisa was very pleased despite having had four cokes by this point. Ouch.
A vile KFC finished the night off superbly. We saw a huge insect on the floor there that the supervisor exterminated with her boot.
The train journey itself was exciting, as it went at up to 350 km/h, taking around an hour. It was clean and modern and made you cry slightly inside for the state of our country. Once in Nanjing, we got the tube, which had also had a novelty of little RFID token instead of paper tickets. Train geekery.
After checking into the hotel, we left for the museum about the most of famous event in Nanjing's history - its raping. The Rape of Nanjing refers to the murder of hundreds of thousands of Chinese - a popular estimate is 300,000. Having taken heavy losses capturing Shanghai in the late thirties, Japanese army commanders were told to head for Nanjing which was the Chinese capital at the time. The troops were apparently not altogether keen, so they were told that if they were good boys and attacked the city, then they could rape and loot to their hearts content.
The museum was even more depressing than you would expect - some achievement. The mistake was to try and drill the details of the massacre from so many different angles that it became tiresome. It was truly shocking but far too long. There were impressive statues and big gardens at the end, but by that point we wanted it to all be over.
When it was, we went to a famous temple in the city centre, which was actually a bit shite. There was however a massive bell that you could ring and made an excellent noise. Simple things for simple minds. Nearby we climbed the city walls, the biggest intact walls in the world and spectacular with it. Next to the walls we did some archery, the guy explaining how to do it essentially using mime. It was fun and all thirty of our fingers remain intact to this day.
After cleaning our repulsive, sweat-ridden bodies, we looked for somewhere to eat. We took a taxi to a place that sounded good but was in fact a 30 second taxi ride. We opted for a place offering German food where I had a fairly substandard Jager Schnitzel with spatzle made by someone who doesn't know how to cook spatzle. But it was six quid, and there was a humorously dodgy covers band were playing in the restaurant so overall it was a win, especially when it turned out that none of us got food poisoning.
We took a couple of hours sleep in preparation for the 2:30 kick off of Holland vs Uruguay. Heading back to the same area we walked past a girl being almost carried by two men and wondered what the night had in store for us. We went into the least suspicious club we could find and had a beer to wake up. Actually, Marisa had a coke. This place was not like any club you have seen before. There were security guards in helmets and a really happy and lively atmosphere. There was no hint of ego or trouble, it seems the reason that I tend to despise clubs might be because they are full to the brim with scum looking for trouble.
It was a great place to watch the football because the liveliness and friendliness, and the not-that-terrible music they were playing. There was lots to look at in every direction, be it the locals, the security, the Colonial feel to the place; I don't think I can capture it actually. Holland won too, which made it even better because Marisa was very pleased despite having had four cokes by this point. Ouch.
A vile KFC finished the night off superbly. We saw a huge insect on the floor there that the supervisor exterminated with her boot.
Monday 5th July
We walked into the Old Town and bought some strange and spicy concoction from someone in a shack on the side of the street. It was bread with a weird sugary thing in it and far too much chilli and a drink of soya milk.
We took this into the park down the road where the locals were doing there thing. Old people were stretching. Many people were sitting around or playing games. Others were playing Diablo which was entertaining for the kids. Not as amusing as me, it seems. A kid with a mohawk came and stood three feet from me and STARED. It was a cool moment and I got some excellent shots too. In the parks it is nice to see everyone relaxing and doing their own thing.
We then headed for Lloyd's gym which had good views of the city, making the cycling machine slightly more interesting. It was at the top floor of a very open shopping centre which meant that their air conditioning was lousy - not ideal in a gym. Sweat-tastic. The machines were all a bit broken but it was done on an American scale. Some girls had their arms in cling film to help them sweat the weight off.
After a generic Chinese lunch we went to Shanghai Train Station to buy tickets for the following day. The English-speaking queue went at half the speed of the others - and people would move from one queue to another fairly freely. It was absolutely roasting. Actually, Shanghai was roasting; this place took it too far.
Back towards the apartment, we stopped by the animal market, which threw up no surprises. Lots of animals being treated badly. Lots of crickets too, for some reason. You see guys on bikes carrying hundreds of little cages each containing a cricket. They had some sweet turtles, kittens and so on. To be honest, I was mainly concerned at not catching a tropical disease.
After a shower, we went for dinner with Amelia and her cousin Tracey at a great restaurant, again in a shopping centre. Really delicious german style cabbage with pork, garlic etc... other nice vegetable and fish dishes. This was a great meal and came to something like £25 for the four of us. Yes, I could get used to this. The girls disappeared straight afterwards and Lloyd and I went back to the bar from the previous night to play pool.
When Lloyd suggested playing doubles with the girl standing by the pool table and her friend, I thought it was strange because I was pretty sure that she was a prostitute. After a game and a half, she made it clear that she wanted a different kind of "doubles" and we left pretty sharpish, first having an Erdinger as nightcap in the safety of the pub over the road.
We took this into the park down the road where the locals were doing there thing. Old people were stretching. Many people were sitting around or playing games. Others were playing Diablo which was entertaining for the kids. Not as amusing as me, it seems. A kid with a mohawk came and stood three feet from me and STARED. It was a cool moment and I got some excellent shots too. In the parks it is nice to see everyone relaxing and doing their own thing.
We then headed for Lloyd's gym which had good views of the city, making the cycling machine slightly more interesting. It was at the top floor of a very open shopping centre which meant that their air conditioning was lousy - not ideal in a gym. Sweat-tastic. The machines were all a bit broken but it was done on an American scale. Some girls had their arms in cling film to help them sweat the weight off.
After a generic Chinese lunch we went to Shanghai Train Station to buy tickets for the following day. The English-speaking queue went at half the speed of the others - and people would move from one queue to another fairly freely. It was absolutely roasting. Actually, Shanghai was roasting; this place took it too far.
Back towards the apartment, we stopped by the animal market, which threw up no surprises. Lots of animals being treated badly. Lots of crickets too, for some reason. You see guys on bikes carrying hundreds of little cages each containing a cricket. They had some sweet turtles, kittens and so on. To be honest, I was mainly concerned at not catching a tropical disease.
After a shower, we went for dinner with Amelia and her cousin Tracey at a great restaurant, again in a shopping centre. Really delicious german style cabbage with pork, garlic etc... other nice vegetable and fish dishes. This was a great meal and came to something like £25 for the four of us. Yes, I could get used to this. The girls disappeared straight afterwards and Lloyd and I went back to the bar from the previous night to play pool.
When Lloyd suggested playing doubles with the girl standing by the pool table and her friend, I thought it was strange because I was pretty sure that she was a prostitute. After a game and a half, she made it clear that she wanted a different kind of "doubles" and we left pretty sharpish, first having an Erdinger as nightcap in the safety of the pub over the road.
5 July 2010
Sunday 4th July - you wouldn't believe where we are
Shanghai.
Brunch this time was in a food hall of a shopping centre. All stuff that anyone from England would be happy to eat. No tails or tongue in sight.
We took a taxi to the Gallery District. Or a place full of galleries, at the very least. There were lots of galleries in a small area, some bigger ones on the main 'street', and smaller ones on sidestreets that we still being laid. The art was mostly by Chinese artists; a lot of it very modern and some more traditional. A lot of it very interesting and slightly innovate to the Western eye, and of course the requisite amount of pretentious toss. Like the man who refused to use any colour but black, and one gallery that essentially said 'this is all a waste of time'. There are clearly a lot of talented artists in China.
It started to rain slightly. Dogs barked, locals legged it, we were apparently in for a wet time. We went to the overpriced, overpretentious coffee house at the entrance to the gallery areas, and had an overpriced coffee while reading the English Shanghai papers. I learned that students in Europe are now on holiday, and lots about China too, though the details escape now now.
Next stop was the riverside. On one side the huge skyscrapers built since 1990, some of which are pretty cool and distinctively very Asian. Lots of flashing lights. The biggest being a the huge bottle opener thing.
On the other side were the Colonial era buildings. No-one can build buildings like this as well as the British. With enough cheap labour.
Dinner was Peking duck. A bit of a super greasy version of what we're used to through apparently you can get both versions here. We tried to get other things to go with the duck, so i looked through the menu carefully. I know it makes no sense that we limit ourselves to only certain parts of certain creatures, but the pictures in the menu made me feel progressively more sick. tendons, horse, intestines, blah, blah, blah. Now you know about eating Peking duck in Shanghai.
An early night, for an early start tomorrow. Actually managed to get to sleep about 3am.
Brunch this time was in a food hall of a shopping centre. All stuff that anyone from England would be happy to eat. No tails or tongue in sight.
We took a taxi to the Gallery District. Or a place full of galleries, at the very least. There were lots of galleries in a small area, some bigger ones on the main 'street', and smaller ones on sidestreets that we still being laid. The art was mostly by Chinese artists; a lot of it very modern and some more traditional. A lot of it very interesting and slightly innovate to the Western eye, and of course the requisite amount of pretentious toss. Like the man who refused to use any colour but black, and one gallery that essentially said 'this is all a waste of time'. There are clearly a lot of talented artists in China.
It started to rain slightly. Dogs barked, locals legged it, we were apparently in for a wet time. We went to the overpriced, overpretentious coffee house at the entrance to the gallery areas, and had an overpriced coffee while reading the English Shanghai papers. I learned that students in Europe are now on holiday, and lots about China too, though the details escape now now.
Next stop was the riverside. On one side the huge skyscrapers built since 1990, some of which are pretty cool and distinctively very Asian. Lots of flashing lights. The biggest being a the huge bottle opener thing.
On the other side were the Colonial era buildings. No-one can build buildings like this as well as the British. With enough cheap labour.
Dinner was Peking duck. A bit of a super greasy version of what we're used to through apparently you can get both versions here. We tried to get other things to go with the duck, so i looked through the menu carefully. I know it makes no sense that we limit ourselves to only certain parts of certain creatures, but the pictures in the menu made me feel progressively more sick. tendons, horse, intestines, blah, blah, blah. Now you know about eating Peking duck in Shanghai.
An early night, for an early start tomorrow. Actually managed to get to sleep about 3am.
Saturday 3 July - still in Shanghai
Saturday, we woke up late-ish and spent a while planning the next week. We then decided it was time to go for brunch, at which point the heavens literally opened. It clearly wasn't going to get better so we took a couple of underground trains and went to a Dim-Sum restaurant. It was all nice stuff, we decided to pass on the Frog's ovaries syrup this time.
Due to the rain, we didn't do a great deal else until dinner, when we took a long taxi ride South. I think. It was so far that it cost five pounds, which is a fortune in the Shanghai taxi world. We had Korean BBQ with some Chinese-American guys, and it was very nice. We moved on for the Germany-Argentina match, in which Germany inflicted an excellent drubbing on the freak Maradona's team. We finally went to bed at 4am after watch some zombie rubbish.
From what I can tell so far, Shanghai is like a very spread out Hong Kong. There are lots of tall buildings, but there is much, much more room so it feels less concentrated. It has a bit of a buzz just like Hong Kong and a friendly one at that. There is a lot more of the poor side here, I don't think you'd get (literally) shacks with people selling deadly-looking food in Hong Kong. I don't feel in the position talk about the place much because the two places I've been in China now are clearly be far the most Westernized. When we go onto only the second most beaten track later this week, things should start to get more interesting.
Due to the rain, we didn't do a great deal else until dinner, when we took a long taxi ride South. I think. It was so far that it cost five pounds, which is a fortune in the Shanghai taxi world. We had Korean BBQ with some Chinese-American guys, and it was very nice. We moved on for the Germany-Argentina match, in which Germany inflicted an excellent drubbing on the freak Maradona's team. We finally went to bed at 4am after watch some zombie rubbish.
From what I can tell so far, Shanghai is like a very spread out Hong Kong. There are lots of tall buildings, but there is much, much more room so it feels less concentrated. It has a bit of a buzz just like Hong Kong and a friendly one at that. There is a lot more of the poor side here, I don't think you'd get (literally) shacks with people selling deadly-looking food in Hong Kong. I don't feel in the position talk about the place much because the two places I've been in China now are clearly be far the most Westernized. When we go onto only the second most beaten track later this week, things should start to get more interesting.
Friday 2 July - Arrive in Shanghai
I arrived on Friday feeling surprisingly un-jetlagged having swapped seats with a strange Irish man who had a premium economy ticket, hurrah. I found Lloyd waiting me for with a piece of paper with my name on it - living the dream!
We took a taxi back to his place; my first encounter with the roads of Shanghai. They kind of have rules - people seem to obey traffic lights. Trying to cross the road is more a matter of negotiation than anything else, and before long we had nearly knocked over some locals. At crossings, cars will try to swerve around you in preference to stopping.
Having dumped my stuff, we went and registered me at the police station. A slightly angry policewoman took my details, made me sign things, and then printed other things out on a dot-matrix printer. It was slightly surreal, but I was glad to be there because of their fabulous air conditioning. I didn't mention the heat, but suffice to say I usually look like I've just completed an hour of sports. We then took a tour of the local area, and local tourist trap.
What followed promised to be the highlight of the day. We walked five minutes down the road, and up a ramp to some shops. Well, I walked up the ramp; Llloyd sort of fell up it. We then walked into the place advertising massages. It was just how you'd hope the place to be actually, very convincingly authentically Chinese, to my South London eye. We swapped our shoes for the supplied slippers, which through some miracle almost fit. We then went into a slightly darkened room and laid down on the massage tables. The man was more thorough than I was expecting. He did the back etc, and proceeded to the buttocks. Lloyd didn't get his buttocks done, but did get his ears cleaned out with the girl's finger. Apparently this is a really good place compared to most, really professional and no happy endings etc. All in all, really good.
It was natural that the first meal we had was an Indian. A nice one. We then went to a Japanese bar to watch the first half Holland vs Brazil, and then an ex-pat one for the second half. There was a drunk man with ten women; from what I could tell, each of a slightly different level of whoreyness. We came back and watched a film : Crank. It sounded OK until I found out Jason Statham was in it.
We took a taxi back to his place; my first encounter with the roads of Shanghai. They kind of have rules - people seem to obey traffic lights. Trying to cross the road is more a matter of negotiation than anything else, and before long we had nearly knocked over some locals. At crossings, cars will try to swerve around you in preference to stopping.
Having dumped my stuff, we went and registered me at the police station. A slightly angry policewoman took my details, made me sign things, and then printed other things out on a dot-matrix printer. It was slightly surreal, but I was glad to be there because of their fabulous air conditioning. I didn't mention the heat, but suffice to say I usually look like I've just completed an hour of sports. We then took a tour of the local area, and local tourist trap.
What followed promised to be the highlight of the day. We walked five minutes down the road, and up a ramp to some shops. Well, I walked up the ramp; Llloyd sort of fell up it. We then walked into the place advertising massages. It was just how you'd hope the place to be actually, very convincingly authentically Chinese, to my South London eye. We swapped our shoes for the supplied slippers, which through some miracle almost fit. We then went into a slightly darkened room and laid down on the massage tables. The man was more thorough than I was expecting. He did the back etc, and proceeded to the buttocks. Lloyd didn't get his buttocks done, but did get his ears cleaned out with the girl's finger. Apparently this is a really good place compared to most, really professional and no happy endings etc. All in all, really good.
It was natural that the first meal we had was an Indian. A nice one. We then went to a Japanese bar to watch the first half Holland vs Brazil, and then an ex-pat one for the second half. There was a drunk man with ten women; from what I could tell, each of a slightly different level of whoreyness. We came back and watched a film : Crank. It sounded OK until I found out Jason Statham was in it.
3 December 2009
A couple of days back, I sat down for lunch with some colleagues in the 'shaft' of our circular building. We sat on plastic chairs in the semi darkness imposed on us by the famous architects.
The first thing that made me realise something was going wrong was the sharb, jabbing sensation in my throat, any time I decided to do something like breathe. A fish bone had found it's way past the protective wall that is my tongue. At first it didn't seem so bad; thanks to the lifetime of warnings from my father, I'd always imagined that letting a fishbone down your throat somehow resulted in both instant death and a slow painful death. I thought, "this isn't so bad". A few seconds later, I started to feel on the wrong side of right, and excused myself.
I thought maybe swallowing some water to force it down might be a good idea, an act I now realise was foolish. In fact, it did nothing, so I retreated to the toilets, and locked myself in the first cubicle I came to.
Right. Fingers-down-throat time. Either the nerves in your throat are not good at locating things, or my brain was not used to the task of locating things in my throat, because when I thought about it, I had the definite feeling that there were many sharp pains in my throat, though I was sure there was just a single bone.
I put one finger down the side of my throat, I don't know if I'd have been able to do it had it been in the middle. Fairly unpleasant, but I managed to locate the bone with my first reckless entrance. The bone was well lodged, because with one finger I was not able to move it. I tried this about twenty times: finger down throat then various degrees of gagging. I tried relaxing my throat, and tried breathing while exploring at the same time. It wasn't easy.
After five minutes, I somehow knew that I would now be able to get both fingers down, probably without showering the inside of the cubicle in mackerel. I put both, now well lubricated, fingers down, and grasped the bone. With more than a little force, I pulled the bone out to freedom. It was a thin thing, but half covered in blood, quite impressive.
I discarded it in the toilet, but didn't flush just for the tiny bone. Quite 'eco', I thought. Not as eco as my girlfriend though. As when I mentioned my lunchtime antics to her in an email later, she said that I should have saved the bone to put in the compost.
Thanks for listening.
The first thing that made me realise something was going wrong was the sharb, jabbing sensation in my throat, any time I decided to do something like breathe. A fish bone had found it's way past the protective wall that is my tongue. At first it didn't seem so bad; thanks to the lifetime of warnings from my father, I'd always imagined that letting a fishbone down your throat somehow resulted in both instant death and a slow painful death. I thought, "this isn't so bad". A few seconds later, I started to feel on the wrong side of right, and excused myself.
I thought maybe swallowing some water to force it down might be a good idea, an act I now realise was foolish. In fact, it did nothing, so I retreated to the toilets, and locked myself in the first cubicle I came to.
Right. Fingers-down-throat time. Either the nerves in your throat are not good at locating things, or my brain was not used to the task of locating things in my throat, because when I thought about it, I had the definite feeling that there were many sharp pains in my throat, though I was sure there was just a single bone.
I put one finger down the side of my throat, I don't know if I'd have been able to do it had it been in the middle. Fairly unpleasant, but I managed to locate the bone with my first reckless entrance. The bone was well lodged, because with one finger I was not able to move it. I tried this about twenty times: finger down throat then various degrees of gagging. I tried relaxing my throat, and tried breathing while exploring at the same time. It wasn't easy.
After five minutes, I somehow knew that I would now be able to get both fingers down, probably without showering the inside of the cubicle in mackerel. I put both, now well lubricated, fingers down, and grasped the bone. With more than a little force, I pulled the bone out to freedom. It was a thin thing, but half covered in blood, quite impressive.
I discarded it in the toilet, but didn't flush just for the tiny bone. Quite 'eco', I thought. Not as eco as my girlfriend though. As when I mentioned my lunchtime antics to her in an email later, she said that I should have saved the bone to put in the compost.
Thanks for listening.
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